football season is looming....

...and this "blog" needs a complete overhaul! Not just a shot of Botox and a new haircut, I'm talking a makeover of "The Swan" proportions. And by that I mean filled with cruelty and narcissism. Much like my soul.

I promise I will start using spellcheck. Ok, sometimes I will use spellcheck.

Some things to keep in mind:

1. Sun, Oct. 25 the Bucs will take on the Patriots in London. No, I will not be sporting my Joey Galloway jersey. I would also recommend avoiding whichever bar I am watching this game in. Trust me, you will not like the equation. Ashley + New England Fans + Bourbon + Sporting Event = Prison Time, I'm sure. Noticed I didn't say jail time.

2. Lately I have had a strong urge to photoshop pictures of Gruden and I so it looks like we are hanging out. And then I want to Blingee them.

3. Sabres are out, obv. Need I say more?

4. The Frozen Four was effin' epic this year.

5. I'm on the hunt for some Lawn Darts to add to my "Summer Shenanigans" kit. So far I have a slip-n-slide, a croquet set (for tackle croquet, of course), hot pink spray paint....


6. On a happy note, Pirates are in the race for the Calder Cup.

7. The other night some dude interrupted one of my tangents to ask if I was Jon Gruden's publicist.

8. Portland is getting a NBA D-League team. This pleases me greatly.

9. I'm getting kind of obsessed with Scott Ferrall. He calls everything! It gives me the vapors. But I can't find a Team Ferrall shirt small enough for me. Boo.

10. I hate the announcers on Versus.

11. Now that Madden has retired, the Crime Mob song "All Madden" has an entirely different meaning for me.

12. I don't know how to rotate photos.

13. I'm having a Derby Days party. You're all invited.

14. I had to remove some of the old content because I'm locked out of my Flickr Pro account. I forgot my password. Yeah, I'm that dumb. I will rework it and put it back up later.

15. The Dolphins have such a bullshit schedule this year....then again the Bucs don't really have it that great either.

16. I'm really excited to get out on the golf course. Hell, even mini-golf! I'm bout it bout it! If anyone needs a caddy, hit me up!


um, and speaking of caddies...

17. U 2008 Highlight Reel!



18. From the 7th Floor Blog, Clinton Portis was voted "Favorite Redskin" by Special Olympians

19. Also seen @ 7th Floor Blog (obviously a favorite) this amazing photo of Plaxico Burress at his court appearance. Maybe he's just stoked about the Spartan's making it to the final game?

Gangsta-ass News Links

-The Bucs have signed WR Kelly Campbell and he's definitely got a little gangsta in him! He even kept it hood on the 'Fins. I'm excited to see how this works out. I'm very accepting of professional athletes and their bad behavior -- as long as it doesn't reach PacMan status. Tampa isn't exactly an ideal place to stay out of trouble, but I think the fact that 'making it rain' has become more played out than ghostriding your mom's whip in the suburbs will be working in everyone's favor. I'm cool with him being a former Viking too - I'm no stranger to the Metrodome as a former Minneapolis resident (North Russell Ave, what?).

- I lied. Ghostriding is still fresh to death, as evidenced here. As long as you smash up, you're not a herb.

- This is the best thing EVER! I think I just wasted an hour grunt-laughing like Beavis.

- Luke arrested for child support non-payment. Has he not paid enough? College football = a lot of mouths to feed. I read about it over at The 7th Floor - they accompany the story with the BEST 2 LIVE CREW pic EVER! Epic.

Brandon Meriweather, I Salute you!

By now everyone in New England knows that I am far from a Patriots fan....but there is one is one Pat that has all my respect and admiration....

Brandon Merriweather!

Now, in my mind he's not really a Pat since he is first and foremost from The U! He will always be a Cane in my eyes. He is such a G!! He's my college football hero! I wouldn't be all nice like Tebow.... I would be stomping bitches! I'm not just saying that because I know he could merc me and my hulk gloves ..... I'm also not being even slightly sarcastic. If I were a wearing the orange and green I would want to BE him! Compared to him I feel like such a herb!


Case in point, and all y'all Patriots can vibe on this too... Keep your eye on #19 and watch that footwork.....

Say something! What?