Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sunday News Ruckus



1. Michigan State tailback Glenn Winston is facing six months in jail as the result of an off-campus fight a few months ago. Apparently MSU is going to let him keep his scholarship and will receive tutoring while in jail. Honestly, I'm not mad at it. Blame it on my 'Thug U' background (UrbanDictionary.com goes as far to define the Miami Hurricanes as the "Official supplier to state prisons" and "The college version of the Cincinatti Bengals", also stating "During team meetings the Miami Hurricanes come up with alibis"). But, joking aside, I believe in second chances. Especially since:
a) The kid is effing nineteen years old. If my future were to depend upon my nineteen year old self, I would not be in jail, I would be in prison! Maybe even Hell....
b) He IS going to jail, after all. I mean, even with tutors, jail is no walk in the park. It's going down on his record. He is getting repercussions.
c) I strongly believe that punishment alone is a poor solution to violence. Having a future to focus on makes it a lot harder to make reckless decisions. I'm not saying that it's gauranteed to make someone "do the right thing", but it certainly doesn't hurt.

That said, I do not believe that endless leniency is appropriate either. In short: Don't fuck it up, Winston! Don't make me look like some bleeding heart by getting on some PacMan bullshit when you get out. Keeping it real can and will go wrong.

-End Rant-

2. In High School Baseball news, the South Dade Bucs (14-10) took the season series, 2-1 over the Key West Conchs. That sucks, Cuzzy Bubbas.

3. Artie Lange's disdain for the Mets has so infected my brain that everytime I hear anything having to due with a gay pride parade, gay bar etc... Literally the first automatic thing that pops into my brain is "Oh, where is it? Shea Stadium?".

4. While we are on the subject of my feeble mind, it seems my subconscious is also easily influenced. Case in point: due the amazing wit and sharp humour of my favorite Buffalo Sabres blogs, I have been having re-accuring dreams about Derek Roy. Now, not those kind of dreams, my loves. Weird, weird dreams.

Example #1: The other night I had a dream that I was at a party and Derek Roy was talking to me, but he was a "close talker" and it was making me extremely uncomfortable. Then he told me in strict confidence that he was being sent to Fat Camp.

Example #2: After a long evening of slaving over Red Velvet Cupcakes, I fell alseep only to have a dream that I couldn't make cupcakes fast enough because Derek Roy kept heisting them! Specifically trying to smuggle them under his sweater and in his man-purse. Oh, it was terribly messy! Then at some point he kind of morphed into Smurfette from the Smurfs and then it got really confusing.



There's more but I don't want to sound like a total baser...


5. I'm excited about The Joe Flacco Show this season. Not exactly news, but worth stating.

6. Raheem Morris may not hate me after all! Actually acknowledging that we need to address out defensive situation? That's a hell of a lot closer to "staying the course" than "crushing a young girls dreams".

7. I am officially fucking horrible at Big Buck Hunter. I am great, however, at Big Doe Poacher.

8. This whole "visting with the other half of my family" weekend is like waterboarding except the government would also be accusing you of being anorexic every five minutes. Listen up, People! I AM 250 POUNDS OF CONCRETE CYANIDE!! Oh wait, that's Tim Tebow.... well, close enough.

Because I am on the verge of complete mental breakdown, I am providing with a list of things that will keep me from going all Tyler Hamilton and claim that I have an evil twin who is actually the one blood doping... Yadadamean? More presents = less cray cray!







2 comments:

  1. I am so sorry about the Derek Roy dreams!!! But he could be a good Smurfette... :)

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  2. I could totally see him skipping with a basket! Plus, they are both cherubic and blonde!

    ReplyDelete